This is Me

   

TONI ASKS, "WHAT DON'T YOU LIKE ABOUT YOUR BODY?  WHAT STEPS CAN YOU TAKE TOWARD ACCEPTING, AND MAYBE LOVING, YOUR BODY?

I am overweight.  I dislike this more from a health perspective than an attractiveness point-of-view.  My father had a stroke at the age of 47 and passed away a week later - during my senior year of high school.  I was fine with blood pressure until I started having children.  Now I am on two medications.  I want to be here to see my children get married and raise families of their own.  Being at a healthier weight will not guarantee that, of course, but it could make the meantime more enjoyable.

For instance, my family recently went to Mammoth Cave in western Kentucky.  They wanted to do a mid-length tour that involved a LOT of steps.  I did not know if I would be able to take it, physically.  When you get to the cave entrance, basically the first thing you do is go down about 300-400 steps to get to the first chamber.  By the time we left that chamber, I was pulling myself up along the path by the handrails.  (Do you know how cold a metal handrail in a cave can get?)  At one point I was almost sure I was going to pass out or have some kind of attack.

You know what got me through?  (I mean other than mule stubbornness?)  The thought of my family, and the good time we were having.  We were all pretty winded by the time the tour was over.  I went straight to bed when we got home and spent most of the next day in bed.  My legs hurt for several days.

So, I give myself props that I completed that trek.

And I know that my worth as a person is not tied to my weight or physical condition.  (Yes, sometimes that is easier to remember than others.)  I like to think of a saying I saw on a poster or graphic once that went something along the lines of "I know I'm somebody because God doesn't make crap."  That's not to say I can't better organize the temple (body) I have been given.