#NaBloPoMo #septemberchallenge 1 Lessons

  

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

It's back-to-school time: do you love the start of school or dread it?

When I was in school, I don't recall being either especially looking forward to or dreading the start of the school year.  It was a nice change over having to entertain ourselves.  And while I was a good student, I know I did not fully appreciate the chances I had at the time.

You Gotta Do What You Gotta Do

 

IF YOU COULD PERSUADE PEOPLE TO DO ONE THING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE? If I could persuade people to do one thing right now, I would persuade them to believe in themselves and take that first (or 22nd, or whatever) step towards their dreams.
A lot of dreams die on the vine because people are afraid to try, afraid of failure, afraid of success.  Or they don't think they are "good enough".  I spent years (wasted years?) mired in all that crap.
I remember seeing a poster once, with one of those huge-eyed hand-drawn kids, with a saying like, "I must be somebody, 'cause God doesn't make mistakes."  I think most religions or spiritual traditions have some sort of philosophy like that.
Ten years after I had been told to find something else to do because I had no future in theatre, I saw an audition notice on a wall at my new college.  I thought to myself, "That's cool.  I should do that."  When I moved closer, I saw the auditions were on two different days, the last of which was that day.  All the excuses came flooding back, "Oh, it's too soon.  I don't have anything prepared.  I'm not good at cold readings....yadda, blah, blah."  I came within a hair's breadth of talking myself out of it.  Then I thought, "Why not?  What have a got to lose?  I love acting.  Nothing in the world would make me happier.  And if I don't get a part, I am no worse off than I am right now."  So I went, I auditioned, and I got a part.
Those cherished dreams CAN work out, for you too!  Maybe not in the way you expect, or in the time frame you would like, but when you 'release the result' you open so many, many doors to allow great experiences and people come into your life.
What is one step you can take today to move closer to a goal or dream of yours?

Undue Influence

  

ARE YOU GOOD AT INFLUENCING OTHER PEOPLE?
Well, it depends.  Over the telephone, or internet, when people can first read or heard my words and think they sound like a pretty good idea.  But in person, not so much.  If people judge me by looks, I'm sunk.  (Not all people do this, though.  Most are pretty cool.)  I'm middle-aged, overweight, wear dentures, and have been known to have a pronounced Kentucky twang at times, so some people, for whatever reason, seem to think I'm intellectually-challenged.  And try influencing someone who thinks they are intellectually superior to you.
For instance, a lot of the people with whom I have come in face-to-face contact during my return to college smile a lot, talk slowly and distinctly.  They all but pat my hand and say, "There, there."  I used to hear that tone of voice a lot when I worked with adults with mental retardation.  I mentally roll my eyes, sigh, and say a prayer for all of us.
The ones I come in contact with by other means (all my classes are online), we're golden.  My professors like my writing style, and I've not heard, "Man, you are SO off base,"... yet.
The more passionate I am about a subject, the more likely I am going to be able to influence people on that subject.  I believe many people would be the same.

The Most Stressful Responsibility

  
WHICH OF YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES STRESS YOU OUT THE MOST?
I would have to say raising my children.  And I wouldn't change that stress for the world.  Because they are one of my greatest joys.
I am remembering, clear as day, the moment they wheeled my oldest child (now 17) into my room at the hospital.  He had to go on oxygen right away for a couple of hours after he was born, and since labor was induced, they wouldn't let me out of bed for 24 hours.  So when his little bassinet was wheeled into the room was the first time I had seen him.
I was 35 years old.  I had waited, planned, waited more, etc, etc, etc for almost 20 years for that moment.  And when I peeked over the edge of the bassinet, I thought, "OK, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?"
Would I give up my life to save even one of theirs?  In a heartbeat.  When they were born, they were defenseless and it was my responsibility (and my husband's) to provide their every need.  We have been their first teachers.  
Our oldest is quickly getting to the point (if he has not already passed it) where he will begin to assume responsibility for his own decisions and actions.  Getting him to the point where he is able to do that has been and is our responsibility.  Parenthood is an awesome responsibility, not to be taken lightly.
I will never be the perfect parent.  But as long as I have put in my best effort, that will be enough.  My parents were not perfect, but I know now they did their best (although I would not have sworn to that at the time).
So, what about you?  What is your most stressful responsibility and how do you handle it?  Let us know in the comments? :O) - Peace out, y'all.

The Dark Side of Perfect

  

WHAT PUTS MORE PRESSURE ON YOU:  TIME CONSTRAINTS OR PERFECTIONISM?
Both time and perfectionism put pressure on me; they probably put pressure on you too.  For me, perfectionism is the bigger issue.  I spend hours and hours trying to make something perfect ... right up until the point where the scale is tipped and time constraints crash down on me, crushing me to a greasy little spot on the floor.
Suppose I live in the perfect zip code, drive the perfect car and wear the perfect clothes.  Does that make my life perfect?  What if I moved.  Would anywhere else be less than perfect?  Would my perfect friends still be friendly?  Or would less than perfect not be 'good enough'?
For example, I have a relative who owns and drives a Cadillac.  Unless they discover oil under our house, or we win the lotto, or I become a best-selling author, that's never going to happen to me.  And that's ok.  (Besides, if I'm going to spend that kind of money on a vehicle, I'd rather have a Jaguar!)  She says she only knows how to drive Cadillacs.  (This isn't true.  I've seen her drive a Lincoln.  And I bet the rental counter clerk wishes they had had a Cadillac that day.  Oy!)  Do I like her more because she drives fancy cars?  No.  Would I like her less if she drove a less-than-antique, run-down Chevy?  No.
Why?  Because she is not her car.
We are not our possessions.  We are not just our abilities.  You've heard the expression, "You are what you eat"?
We are also what we do.  Nobody can be us better than we can.

Facing Pressure: Do You Comply or Rebel?

  

DOES PRESSURE EVER MAKE YOU WANT TO REBEL AND DO THE EXACT OPPOSITE THING OF WHAT IS BEING ASKED OF YOU?
Hehehehe.  How much time do you have today?
I can answer this question in one of three ways:
a) No.  I feel the request is valid and it is my 'job' (whether in a professional or social setting) to comply, even though it may cause stress.  A lot of situations in a former job had this kind of situation.  If one of the residents was getting worked up and threatening to hurt themselves or someone else it was my job to stop them (in the former case) or step in between them and their intended target (in the latter).  Pressure? Loads. Run away.  Not on my life.
b) Eh...no, probably not.  Sometimes a request or order is valid, but delivered in a demeaning manner.  That's when my hackles start to rise.  Ninety-nine times out of 100 I would probably comply an do what is being asked.
c) All bets are off.  If the person is on a power trip and enjoying lording it over other people (including me), then their request is difficult to fulfill and there is a definite desire on my part to push back.  At the same job described earlier, I was assisting a resident (let's call her "J") in a wheelchair with transferring to the toilet, she began to holler.  When I started in the home, she was getting around by use of a walker.  But she would rather have people do things for her. So, while I was transferring her, one of the home 'officials' came and wanted to know why she was screaming.  I said it was because the resident did not want to have to do any work, and that I was encouraging her to move so that she could retain her abilities as long as possible, and that I did not want to enable her into the wheelchair full-time.  This staffer screamed at me that I "HAD TO" enable her, because J could not put any weight on her feet!  I replied, "Uh, She just did."  My voice might have been a little louder than usual.

Keeping Cool in the Pressure Cooker

  
DO YOU THINK IT'S POSSIBLE TO CONTROL YOUR TEMPER WHEN FACING ENORMOUS PRESSURE?
First let's look at the words possible and probable?  Is something possible; could it happen?  Yes.  Is something probable, likely to happen?  That could be another story.  Some of it depends on the amount and quality of the perceived pressure.
Say someone with a full cart cuts in front of my at the grocery store.  Will I lose my temper?  Probably not.  Will I use a release valve like thinking, "Putz," under my breath? There's a good chance.  Will it work and stave off a display of temper on my part?  Yes.
However, let's change up the situation.  Say that person's cart hits and injures one of my children during their mad dash to the checkout line.  Will I lose my temper?  The chances of that will have just gone up dramatically.
So, here's a little peek into my thought process at that time:
Of course, the above example shows some sort of intent on the mad dasher's part (to get to the line first).  Maybe they didn't see my child and the injury was an accident.  (Because if the injury was intentional...buddy, it's on!)  Will the person apologize or take responsibility for their actions?  What if they are a single parent rushing home from work to make supper for their children before cleaning up, helping the kids with their homework, falling into bed exhausted, and getting up early the next day to do it all over again?  That would change things for me.
I suppose I should say at this point that when I lose my temper, it would most likely come out as a verbal tirade.  I am loathe to get physical, but will not hesitate to use that option in self-defense.
This is another reason I took up a more regular practice of prayer and meditation at the beginning of the year.  They both build up your inner strength and soothe life's pressures to make it less likely that the pressure to pass the critical point.

Temper, Temper

  

DO YOU HAVE A BAD TEMPER?  HOW OFTEN DO YOU LOSE YOUR TEMPER?
I can have a temper as much as the next woman, but I usually try to de-stress before it gets to a blow up.  There are many ways I can do this.  The classic, of course, is counting to ten.  A slightly more difficult way is counting from eleven to twenty ... in Russian.  They have some l-o-n-g words for those teen numbers, those Russian folks.
Another way to de-stress for me is "going to my room".  Seriously.  I go into my bedroom, shut the door, and meditate, or read a distracting book.  The stressful situation will still be there when I come out of the room, but I will be dealing with it from a much more relaxes and powerful position.  
One situation that has the most potential to send me directly from zero-to-postal without passing go is someone messing with my children.  That can set me off like nothing else.
Another thing that irks me is going to the doctor, or a government office, and being talked down to by one of the staff.  I've even been known to 'rehearse' assertive communication in my mind before I encounter a situation like that.  
Care to share one of your tips or tricks for keeping calm in the face of stressful situations?  I'd love to hear!

3 Defenses Against Perfection-Mongers

  

DO YOU FEEL PRESSURE TO BE PERFECT?  HOW MUCH OF IT IS TIED TO  WHAT YOU SEE ONLINE?
The only time I really remember feeling pressured to be perfect is when I showed my father a Trigonometry test I had taken in the 10th grade.  I had been working very hard in the class and achieved a score of 97%.  I took the paper to my father (who had a PhD in Chemical Engineering) and he asked me, "What happened to the other 3 points?"  OUCH!
And I put a lot of pressure on myself to be 'perfect', because I want the result of whatever I am working on to be my best work for the other person.  But pressuring oneself to be perfect is not necessarily good either.
I know there are people out there who judge others by where they live, what kind of vehicle they drive, whether or not they shop off the rack, whether they are married or *gasp* divorced, too young or too old, Christian or Jew or Muslim or Buddhist.
In a sense, we all make judgments about people based on their looks, their skin color, whether or not they have a degree, where they work, if they work, what church they go to ... the list is endless.  A lot of it is the result of ignorance, Yes, it is going to happen online.  
Media in general puts a lot of pressure on people to appear (at least physically) perfect.  Recently there was a buzz about someone Photoshopping Jennifer Lawrence to make her arms look thinner.  Puh-leeze!  Everyone wants to see young, thin, well-to-do people who have 'perfect' lives.  But as anyone who has seen an episode of "The Real Housewives of (X)" can tell you:  a) those housewives are not representative of the vast majority of housewives anywhere in the world, and b) rich, young, physically attractive people do not necessarily have happily-ever-after lives.
So, how to we affirm ourselves as "just fine, just the way we are, thank you very much"?
Talk to the Hand Defense - literally put up your hand and give a "stop" sign.  You don't have time to listen to that kind of noise.  This is a great defense against those who would stop you from getting the right things done by insisting that everything you do be done 'just right'.
Walk Away Defense - This defense is for when the battle to be perfect is just not worth it.  Maybe you are in a toxic relationship, be it family, friend or love interest.  Some insists you do things just so, or always their way, in order that you be 'worthy'.  Walk away.  Create distance.
Channel Changer Defense - You've probably heard the maxim that 'the best defense is a good offense'.  Choose to take in information that is uplifting.  Choose to consume things that energize you.  Opt out of the mirage of perfection.  Get the right things done.
What are your thoughts on the concept of perfection?

Pressure? Schmessure!

     DO YOU STILL FEEL PRESSURE TO CONFORM?  IF NO, AT WHICH AGE DID IT STOP? I think there is always some pressure to conform; society doesn't like having to open another box into which it must categorize things.  The less variation in people, the smaller variety of labels society's printer has to pit out, the happier 'society' is. It has, however, been ... a lot of years ... oh, ok, DECADES since I gave a rat's you-know-what about 'fitting in'.  Am I going to pull a Lady Godiva anytime soon?  Not likely.  (Collective sighs of relief all around.)   My maternal grandfather wanted to be a banker.  His parents wanted him to be a lawyer.  He became a lawyer.  He also became an alcoholic. My father was a chemical engineer.  He would have rather, at least in later life, have done something in investments.  He stayed a chemical engineer because: a) he was good at it; b) people expected him to stay the course, and c) it paid well.  My father came home early from work one day in early February 1979 because he did not feel well.  One week later, he died at the age of 47. Three times after my father passed away, my mother's brother came to visit us.  Each time my mother and uncle visited me at the place where I worked.  Each time, my uncle said, "You can do better." I really owe a debt of gratitude to the men in my family, although I can't say I appreciated the lesson at the time.  I've come out of class with a good idea of what makes me happy, the ability to express what makes me happy and why, and a thick enough skin to resist efforts to fit this square peg into a round hole.

Do Worms Feel Pressure?

      


DO YOU THINK YOU HANDLE PRESSURE WELL OR DO YOU USUALLY FALL APART? I usually bear up well in crisis situations.  Afterwards, I collapse.  It reminds me of when I used to ski in Utah.  I could ski from the time the lift opened in the morning and race down the mountain trying to get 'just one more run' in before dark and feel great.  But when we went to the car, sat down and took off the ski boots?  It was all over. When I worked for the city of Fort Worth, they had some sort of training conference where one of the workshops was on self defense, and presented by the police department.  One of the officers said something that sticks with me even today:  "You have to decide now what you are going to (or willing to) do in a crisis situation to defend yourself.  Because if you wait to decide until in the crisis, it will be exponentially more difficult to do." *+*+*+*+* 2014 Wormfest!

Kicking off Wormfest week will be the release of Stephen’s third book in the Chase Manhattan trilogy, Escalation.  2014 National Wormhole Week: Name one thing where science advances mankind, and one where technology will go too far and set us back. They can be the same thing or different.  Example: De-extinction or bringing back extinction species through backbreeding, genetic engineering, and cloning. With all the breakthrough discoveries mankind is on the cusp of, are we playing God?  Where do you see science moving us forward and where do you see it moving us back? Feel free to quote a movie. (Jurassic Park is a great example.) Join us below for Wormfest!  If the linky code doesn't show up, just click on the button and go sign up!

From Pillar to Post

  

WHO PUTS THE MOST PRESSURE ON YOU - YOURSELF OR OTHERS?
There is pressure that is imposed upon us by others.  Then there is PRESSURE that is imposed upon us by others.  Maybe a boss brings a last-minute project for an important deadline.  Maybe a child comes home and announces they need  six dozen cookies - for tomorrow.  (Of course, these days, you can't bring homemade goodies to public schools anymore.  But that's another post for another day.)  Then there is pressure like our soldiers face in battle.  Or the pressure put on a victim during the commission of a crime by another person.
Then there is the pressure we put on ourselves.  Then there is the PRESSURE we put on ourselves.  We may put off studying for a test or save an assignment until the last day ... when we had the time to do it in a less rushed manner.  Then there are occasions when we convince ourselves that a certain outcome is the only thing that will satisfy us and we are devastated when it doesn't come to pass.
Of course, I believe that it is not so much the source of pressure, but our reaction to it that makes the difference.  And no matter from where the pressure comes, there are usually things we can do to counteract it.  Unfortunately, there are some situations that put pressure on us over which we have no control.  When I faced such a situation at a former job, I knew I would most likely wind up injured at some point due to the nature of the job, and I made peace with that.  Then the fear, the stress and the pressure mediated itself and I was much more relaxed in the stressful situation itself.  
I'd love it if you could share a tip for how you handle pressure in your lives.  There's someone out there who needs to hear your tip today!

I'm Not Going Anywhere Sam

  
"COURAGE IS GRACE UNDER PRESSURE," IS A FAMOUS QUOTATION BY ERNEST HEMINGWAY.  TELL US ABOUT A PERSONAL MOMENT OF YOUR GRACE UNDER PRESSURE.
For four years, I worked with adults who have MR/DD (mental retardation and developmental disabilities).  When I was in training, I found out the house to which I would be assigned initially.  This particular house was home to 16 - 18 'high-functioning' males.  Rumor had it that this house was one of the rougher assignments on the facility.  As a 40-something female, I was more than a little nervous.  Looking back now it seems funny, that I made my peace with the situation by accepting the fact that at some point, I would get injured.
One day, I was assigned as staff for a certain male resident.  He was verbal with a limited vocabulary.  Although other residents were more prone to violence than this man, I would much rather NOT take a hit from him because he was a bull-dog.  He was incredibly strong and powerful ... and bull-headed at times.  He loved to play shoot baskets and was on the Special Olympics basketball team at one point for our region.
He was also mad for magazines, so much so that he would go into other residents' rooms and other houses to take things that belonged to other people.
On the day in question, Sam (not his real name, of course) climbed into a golf cart that a medical staff member had left parked outside the house in full view of everyone there.  If he'd have been able to get the thing started, wow, I shudder even now to think of it.  I hear when our supervisor du jour was notified of the situation, she looked out of the window, said something like "This isn't my house," and walked on.  Thanks a lot.
Sam headed to the next house up from ours.  I called the staff on my cell phone and alerted them that we were headed that way.  Normally, the doors were unlocked at all times, but in some cases (like the situation at hand) it was safer to secure the doors temporarily.  When Sam could not get into that house, we went on a walking tour of the facility.  (I was not allowed to make physical contact with him.).
As we passed one classroom, where residents learned daily living social skills, he saw stacks of magazines in the window, and was determined to get in to them.  I blocked the door, holding it shut for the safety of the staff and residents in class at the time.  Sam did not like that.  He threw over a garbage can.  I hollered to the classroom staff to call our house to send some help.
Then he raised his right hand and slapped me hard across the left side of the face, knocking my glasses to the ground.  I bent down to pick them up (keeping my eyes on him), picked up my glasses, put them in my pocket and said in as calm a voice as I could muster, "I'm not going anywhere, Sam."
Just then, a visually-impaired resident exited a different classroom.  Sam went to kick him, and I stepped in between the two of them.  Sam went into the 2nd classroom, a physical therapy/exercise room.  Seeing who it was, the staff immediately retreated behind desks (yeah, thanks for that one too).  Sam picked up someones Walkman, threw it at the window and the Walkman exploded into dozens of pieces.
At that point, a male staffperson arrived from our house, entered the room and said, "What's up, Sam?"  It was like someone had flipped a switch, and Sam was all smiles as he walked home willingly with the other staff as I followed closely behind.

Doing What Cannot Be Done

  

MARGE PIERSON SAID:  "A STRONG WOMAN IS A WOMAN DETERMINED TO DO SOMETHING OTHERS ARE DETERMINED NOT BE DONE."  TELL US ABOUT A TIME WHEN YOU DID WHAT COULDN'T BE DONE.
I can think of two examples from my 2nd bout of college, back in the 1988-1992 time frame.
For the first one, as my major was Finance, I had to take Macro- and Micro-Economics.  Both times I had the same professor.  He was cool, very laid-back and cared if the students did well in class.  There were three tests in the Macroeconomics class, the usual stuff - multiple choice, short answer and a couple of essay questions.  When he passed back the first exam, he mentioned that someone had gotten 100% on their test and that that did not happen too often in his classes.  Ok, yeah, it was me.  The night he passed back the 2nd exam, the student body president (who was also in the class) went to the stack of blue books on the professor's desk to take a peek.  He said, "Some young lady got 100%."  He was kind of a competitive soul, bless him.  On the final, he got 100%.  I only got 97%, not that I'm complaining.
In the 2nd instance, I had a statistics class.  I seemed to catch on fairly quickly and was making good grades in that course as well.  I couldn't wait until the semestar was over so maybe I could tutor my fellow students.  About halfway through the course, the instructor came up to me and asked why I wasn't tutoring.  I said that I didn't think I could seeing as I was still enrolled in the course.  I forget exactly what happened (give me a break, that was a little over 20 years ago *lol*), but in about a week I was tutoring almost full-time.  At the end of the semester, two of my classmates (whom I tutored at the same time) got me a coffee mug, filled with little candies wrapped in a small cellophane bag with lots (LOTS) of curling ribbon.  Tied into the a couple of strands of the ribbon were rolled up $1 bills!  I was floored at the thoughtfulness.
Now it's your turn.  Share a time when you did what "could not be done".  Y'ALL ROCK!

What I Did For Love

  

ELEANOR ROOSEVELT SAID:  "A WOMAN IS LIKE A TEA BAG - YOU CAN'T TELL HOW STRONG SHE IS UNTIL YOU PUT HER IN HOT WATER."  TELL US ABOUT A TIME YOU FELT YOUR STRENGTH.
I can think of two instances to share.
Back in the 1980's at some point (I can't narrow it down much more than that), I participated in a Walk-a-thon of 30K in Salt Lake City.  I was basically sedentary at the time, so I should have worked up to it or done some training or something.  I had gotten myself a portable tape player (yes, it was that long ago) and a Terrence Trent D'Arby tape.  At lunchtime, I changed into a fresh pair of socks, which helped a lot.  I had my first wheatburger.  Near the end of the route, I was sliding my feet along the ground, but I finished it.  Physical strength?  Eh.  Mule stubbornness?  More than a little.
I went to a party that night for a woman from work who was moving to Hawaii with her family.  When I left I had to walk down a hallway were people were sitting.  I had to ask them to move their legs because I could not lift my feet to step over them.
The second occasion happened when my husband and I had two children.  We were going through a rough patch financially and my mother-in-law had us served with papers to try and get custody of our boys, then about 3 and 4.  After my obligatory freak-out, I went to speak with a lawyer that a counselor had suggested.  He said he would take the case for $400 up front and whatever it would cost afterwards.  I didn't have $400 to give him for the whole process, let alone 'up front'.  
So I contacted West Texas Legal Aid.  When I spoke to the lawyer, he seemed confident that not only were the children not 'in danger', but that my in-laws did not have standing to bring the case in the first place.  They did not show up to the first hearing, claiming the could not fly in due to 9/11 (which was about 6 weeks previous).  They were granted a continuance.  When the rescheduled hearing came up, they were visiting from California and expected that we would let them take the boys out to a restaurant ... by themselves.  How can I put this....NOT!  When they found out they would not even be allowed to see the boys until after the hearing, we next heard that the case was being dropped.
Having been down that road once before, I said, "Until we have papers from the lawyers proving that the case has been dismissed, I am showing up at the court."  Within just a few days before the rescheduled hearing the case was dropped.
The most powerful I've ever felt was the day I walked out of the first meeting with West Texas Legal Aid.  I was walking on air!  At that point in my life, my usual course of action would have been to cave.  But a line was crossed that I could not let stand.  It's nice to know what your limits are.

You'll Feel a Little Pressure

    

HAVE YOU EVER TRIED ACUPRESSURE TO TREAT A PROBLEM?  WHAT WAS YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH IT?
Before my oldest child was born, I was in a course that would have lead to certification as a professional massage therapist.  Then I developed sciatica while I was pregnant and could no longer stand long enough at one time to give a massage, so that kind of went by the wayside.
One of the classes I took was in acupressure.  We learned all the meridians and names of the pressure points.  I have used several over the years, especially as relates to dental and sinus issues.  It works as well as anything else I have tried.  The more you believe it can help you, the more likely that will actually come to pass.
The class instructor was also a licensed acupuncturist and demonstrated that one evening in class on a volunteer.  I forget what his particular problem was, but she inserted the needles at various points along his spinal column.  I know that stimulating the various points is supposed to improve the flow of "chi" in the body.  But I was still surprised when there was a faint reddish line that developed in between the needles.
And, hey, if it didn't work, would it have been in use for thousands of years?  I think not.
What is the alternative therapy that has provided you the most benefit?  I'd be thrilled to see your answer in a comment!

Breaking the Camel's Back

  
A PRESSURE POINT TRANSLATES IN JAPANESE TO "TENDER SPOT".  WHAT ARE YOUR PRESSURE POINTS?
Friends and family, in general.  Children (especially my own), animals, or those unable to protect themselves.
I've told my children on more than one occasion that I don't like guns.  I could live happily if I never had to see one, let alone have to hold one in my hands.  On the other hand, if someone tries to get into our house and harm my family, I would not hesitate to use a gun to protect my family.  Someone messing with my kids will send me from 0 to crazy in half a heartbeat.
I'm also not too fond of people harassing or bullying animals or human adults/children ... any animate thing that is not as capable of protecting or defending him or herself than the 'average' person whatever that may be.  For four years, I worked in a residential/training facility for adults with MR/DD (mental retardation and developmental disabilities).  On more than one occasion I have stepped in between two fighting individuals or close enough to one person intent on harming herself to sustain injury myself.  Strangely enough, before that job, I probably would not have put myself in harm's way.
It's not that I'm any more heroic than I was before, I just have a clearer definition of situations for which I will or will not stand

Good Pressure, Nice Pressure

  
CAN PEER PRESSURE BE POSITIVE?  WHY OR WHY NOT?
Of course pressure can be positive.  The word pressure, like the word stress, often gets a bad rap (?) in today's world.  it all has to do with our perception of the pressure's source and an analysis of their motives.
This last year, I got a pressure cooker, which had never had before.  It takes a big ole hunk of beef or pork and turns it into very tender, cut-with-your-fork meat and a tasty part of a meal.  That's a good pressure.  But, of course, the pressure cooker is an inanimate object, and I've never felt the necessity to assign motives to its actions in my corner of the space-time continuum.
If we turn to the realm of minerals, there is the fact that pressure and time can turn a hunk of coal into a diamond.  I'd rather have a bracelet of teeny diamonds than of teeny pieces of coal.  Anyone?
How about friends nudging you back into the dating world an appropriate time after a bad break-up?  Depending on how badly you were burned, that first step back can be nearly impossible to take on your own.  (Like the season I worked at an Amazon warehouse and had to slide my feet along the floor because I could not pick them up off the ground.  but that's another story).
So, a little well-intentioned peer pressure can cause us to focus on our project or goal, and get to the pot of gold sooner.  And like some of my neighbors say, "Ain't nothin' wrong with that."

Tapping to My Own Drummer

   TELL US ABOUT A TIME WHEN YOU DIDN'T BEND TO PEER PRESSURE, AND YOU SWAM AGAINST THE STREAM. When I started college, wa-a-a-ay back in 1979 (how many of you, I wonder, are saying, "Gee, I wasn't even born then!" *lol*)  I was a Musical Theatre Major-Acting Emphasis.  One term I had ballet, tap and jazz dance at the same time.
I was actually fairly thin until puberty hit and when it did, it hit the fan as well.  I have struggled with my weight since then.  Add to that the fact that my ankles have never been particularly strong and all those dance classes (with about 50% dance majors) could be very intimidating at times.  The ballet class wasn't too bad.  The instructor was helpful and understanding...except on Mondays, when she turned into the "stretch Nazi".
The tap class was a different story.  The instructor was a choreographer and was known for his hard critique of people's performances.  At one point in each class session, we would do a certain tap step in groups of four from one corner of the room to the other.
One day he demonstrated a combination of steps he wanted the class to do.  The first group did the right movements, but on the wrong count (flapping when they were supposed to be shuffling, or something like that).  The second quartet followed suit, as did each group that followed.  Maybe it was the math side of my brain, but I noticed that it wasn't as the instructor had demonstrated.
With each passing moment until my group got to the front of the line, I waffled between "I'm going to do the steps correctly,"  to "Everyone will think I'm stupid, I'll just follow the crowd," and back again.  
When the last group had gone across the floor and we were all back in line again, the instructor stopped the music and looked at the class. "There was one student who did the steps correctly," he said.  I'm not sure if he was more shocked that a non-dance major of questionable grace and agility got the step right, or that she had the gumption to do it differently from everyone else.  Or maybe I ruined his ability to yell at the whole class.  (I'm going for one of the former options, though.)
That was a good day.

Peer Pressure

  
TELL US ABOUT A TIME YOU BENT TO PEER PRESSURE. I had to do a little brain-wracking on this one.   I suppose I could use the occasion of my first 'party' in  high school.  My friend's parents were out of town and she was going to have a party.  So I went.  So there was whiskey sour punch.  I had some ... to fit in.  It tasted awful.  (Of course, this was the first time I had had anything more than beer - but I never liked the taste of that either.) There weren't many people there, so another friend and I went up a nearby canyon to a keg party to find some more people.  I got separated from this friend - there was a band playing there, and a fair amount of chaos - but we met up again and went back to the house.  More folks were there when we got back, including some mutual friends. I remember going into the downstairs bathroom and locking the door.  In hindsight that was a very good thing, because I think I passed out on the floor.  I woke to someone knocking on the door and stumbled out, and some of the friends being in the room and sniggering a bit.  Later I fell asleep on a couch in the living room. The next morning, I woke up from a telephone call from my parents telling me to come home so we could go to church.  Yikes! I had a choir practice later that day, where I was the accompanist.  A few friends who had been there the night before came walking in and just laughed when they saw me. Dumb, dumb, dumb!  (But at least that was the only time it happened.)