Happiness for Young and Old

   

TONI SAYS, "WRITE A LETTER TO A CHILD ON WHAT YOU'VE LEARNED ABOUT HAPPINESS."

Dear Young'un,

You will have times of great happiness and great sorrow in your lives, and everything in-between.  I hope and pray there is way more happiness than anything else.  Reversals in our lives help us to appreciate successes.  Sadness makes us value happiness all the more.

I've been both in my life.  And let me tell you something, "Happiness is a WHOLE lot more fun!"  Would it surprise you to learn that some of that is in your control?  If an acquaintance of yours makes you feel bad, you can choose to hang out with other people.  There are people out there willing and able to inspire you to reach beyond your circumstances and bring about wonderful things in your life.

It also helps to appreciate the good that we already have.  Some days that is easier, some days harder.  Maybe on a given day you can't find anything.  Having a roof over your head is a whole lot nicer than not.  Most likely one or more family members loves you and wants the best for you.  That is a HUGE plus.  A teacher that takes extra time to help you understand a problem at school.  Wonderful.

But what about the days where nothing goes right?  Maybe your mom or dad lost their job and is really stressed out.  Maybe you did poorly on a test at school and you don't want to tell your parent(s).  Well, maybe that's the day that the little puppy in the pet store window on your walk home comes up to the window and wags his tail furiously in greeting like he is really happy to see you.  Maybe a beautiful little flower pushes up out of nowhere in between sidewalk blocks in the concrete jungle.

You can't stop all of the rain in life.  But you can know there is sunshine.  You can help spread it to other people.  Then you can be your own and someone else's happiness.  What a wonderful gift.

-a tired, old (happy) coot

You Gotta Do What You Gotta Do

 

IF YOU COULD PERSUADE PEOPLE TO DO ONE THING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE? If I could persuade people to do one thing right now, I would persuade them to believe in themselves and take that first (or 22nd, or whatever) step towards their dreams.
A lot of dreams die on the vine because people are afraid to try, afraid of failure, afraid of success.  Or they don't think they are "good enough".  I spent years (wasted years?) mired in all that crap.
I remember seeing a poster once, with one of those huge-eyed hand-drawn kids, with a saying like, "I must be somebody, 'cause God doesn't make mistakes."  I think most religions or spiritual traditions have some sort of philosophy like that.
Ten years after I had been told to find something else to do because I had no future in theatre, I saw an audition notice on a wall at my new college.  I thought to myself, "That's cool.  I should do that."  When I moved closer, I saw the auditions were on two different days, the last of which was that day.  All the excuses came flooding back, "Oh, it's too soon.  I don't have anything prepared.  I'm not good at cold readings....yadda, blah, blah."  I came within a hair's breadth of talking myself out of it.  Then I thought, "Why not?  What have a got to lose?  I love acting.  Nothing in the world would make me happier.  And if I don't get a part, I am no worse off than I am right now."  So I went, I auditioned, and I got a part.
Those cherished dreams CAN work out, for you too!  Maybe not in the way you expect, or in the time frame you would like, but when you 'release the result' you open so many, many doors to allow great experiences and people come into your life.
What is one step you can take today to move closer to a goal or dream of yours?

The Most Stressful Responsibility

  
WHICH OF YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES STRESS YOU OUT THE MOST?
I would have to say raising my children.  And I wouldn't change that stress for the world.  Because they are one of my greatest joys.
I am remembering, clear as day, the moment they wheeled my oldest child (now 17) into my room at the hospital.  He had to go on oxygen right away for a couple of hours after he was born, and since labor was induced, they wouldn't let me out of bed for 24 hours.  So when his little bassinet was wheeled into the room was the first time I had seen him.
I was 35 years old.  I had waited, planned, waited more, etc, etc, etc for almost 20 years for that moment.  And when I peeked over the edge of the bassinet, I thought, "OK, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?"
Would I give up my life to save even one of theirs?  In a heartbeat.  When they were born, they were defenseless and it was my responsibility (and my husband's) to provide their every need.  We have been their first teachers.  
Our oldest is quickly getting to the point (if he has not already passed it) where he will begin to assume responsibility for his own decisions and actions.  Getting him to the point where he is able to do that has been and is our responsibility.  Parenthood is an awesome responsibility, not to be taken lightly.
I will never be the perfect parent.  But as long as I have put in my best effort, that will be enough.  My parents were not perfect, but I know now they did their best (although I would not have sworn to that at the time).
So, what about you?  What is your most stressful responsibility and how do you handle it?  Let us know in the comments? :O) - Peace out, y'all.

Anything I Can Do, I Can do Better

  

  

TONI WANTS TO KNOW, "I THINK I WOULD BE BETTER AT _____ IF I _____."

I think I would be better at LIFE if I HAD MORE FAITH.

My biggest 'failures' in this game of life have come when I stayed inside my little nest and did not venture out.  Evidence the length of time it took me to come out of my shell for theatre's sake.  I get angry sometimes when I look at the years I wasted doing other things.  But I also realize I am not perfect and forgive myself for that and other failures.  Yes, I could have done things differently and had a very different life.  But I would not change my life now (with my family) for any amount of 'success' professionally.  And the past is the past, right?  I can't change it now, so I might as well take a look at things I can change.

My biggest 'successes' in life have come when I swallowed my fear, and took that extra step, most usually out of my comfort zone.

1.  I saw that audition poster and went, even though I had no time to 'prepare'.  As it happened, I got a part.  Would it mean I failed if I had not gotten a role in the play?  No.  It would have been a 'not in this case' scenario.

2.  I used to belong to a fraternal group called Job's Daughters.  I entered a state-wide pageant for the group when I was a little older than most of the other contestants and had never held a leading officer position.  I went on to represent the state in the international competition in Hawaii (talk about a bonus right there!)

3.  My mother-in-law tried to get custody of our children when we just had the two boys.  I was dealing with crippling depression at the time and could very well have thrown up my hands and surrendered.  But I did not.  They were my boys.  I went to a lawyer and found out she did not have the standing to bring the case.  After one hearing (which she missed), she dropped the case.

I'm not perfect.  Far from it.  But I'm pretty dang neat!  And so are YOU!  :O)

Could you share (in the comments) a time when you took a leap of faith and how it turned out?  You might have the exact information another needs to hear today!

The Dark Side of Perfect

  

WHAT PUTS MORE PRESSURE ON YOU:  TIME CONSTRAINTS OR PERFECTIONISM?
Both time and perfectionism put pressure on me; they probably put pressure on you too.  For me, perfectionism is the bigger issue.  I spend hours and hours trying to make something perfect ... right up until the point where the scale is tipped and time constraints crash down on me, crushing me to a greasy little spot on the floor.
Suppose I live in the perfect zip code, drive the perfect car and wear the perfect clothes.  Does that make my life perfect?  What if I moved.  Would anywhere else be less than perfect?  Would my perfect friends still be friendly?  Or would less than perfect not be 'good enough'?
For example, I have a relative who owns and drives a Cadillac.  Unless they discover oil under our house, or we win the lotto, or I become a best-selling author, that's never going to happen to me.  And that's ok.  (Besides, if I'm going to spend that kind of money on a vehicle, I'd rather have a Jaguar!)  She says she only knows how to drive Cadillacs.  (This isn't true.  I've seen her drive a Lincoln.  And I bet the rental counter clerk wishes they had had a Cadillac that day.  Oy!)  Do I like her more because she drives fancy cars?  No.  Would I like her less if she drove a less-than-antique, run-down Chevy?  No.
Why?  Because she is not her car.
We are not our possessions.  We are not just our abilities.  You've heard the expression, "You are what you eat"?
We are also what we do.  Nobody can be us better than we can.

Can You Believe January is Almost Over?

    

TONI SAYS, "WHEN I FEEL LIKE I'M LOSING TRACK OF MY RESOLUTIONS, I WILL..."

At some point, most people who make resolutions will come to a point where they have to decide whether they will continue to do with their work or if they will let a slip-up here or there cause them to abandon the changes they were trying to institute in their lives.

Let me tell you a story. Some of you have heard this before.  :O)

At some point in rather early in childhood, I decided I wanted to be an actress.  From junior high school on, there were 'drama' classes available at the school.  I took them.  In high school, I guess we were 'cooler' then, and drama became 'theatre'.

When I entered college, I declared as a Musical Theatre Major.  Apparently I was not too shabby in the acting department, but my singing was not something for which I had never had training.  I was incredibly, overly nervous about it.  At the end of freshman year, each MT student had to pass an audition to continue in the program.  (I cringe even now thinking of mine.)  One professor actually wrote on my sheet that I should find something else to do because I had no future in musical theatre.

I abandoned my dream.

Ten years and several lifetimes later, I went back to college and happened to get a part in a play.  For the next five-six years, I got a lot of parts in a lot of plays.

Do you see?

I had a TEN YEAR DERAILMENT in a 'resolution'.  And I went back.  And I took it up again.  It was worth it!

Do you know something?

YOU CAN TOO!

Doin' the Happy Dance

    

TONI ASKS, "YOUR HAPPINESS SHOULD DEPEND ON NOBODY BUT YOURSELF.  HOW CAN YOU TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR OWN HAPPINESS?"

The happiest I have ever been has been when I have taken that step out in faith.  Yes, I was scared, but I did it anyway.  That as much as anything else, showed me that what I did had a lot to do with whether or not I would be happy.  Sure, if someone walked up and gave me a winning lotto ticket, I would be happy.  (If the winning ticket were for a large amount, I would REALLY be happy! :O) )

But I can also be happy without winning a lotto jackpot.  And if you wait around for a jackpot to be happy, you'll probably be waiting for a very, very long time.  That is when you surrender your possibilities for happiness to someone or something else.  How sad.

My house is very crowded right now.  There are 2 adults (my husband and me), two teenage boys, 1 tween girl, four dogs and 10 puppies.

I could concentrate on the lack of organization, the fact that there is hardly ever a quiet moment, the stunning amount of trash generated.  I could go on for a while and get more disheartened and depressed at every step.

Or I could be happy that we are living in our own house.  Many people don't.  Some don't even have a place to live.  I could be happy that the house built by my husband's paternal grandparents is still in the family.  I could be happy that one of my children's grandfather's houses is minutes away, and that there is a lot of cross-generational contact.  (I really only knew one of my grandparents, and I knew Mamaw (husband's paternal grandmother) better than all of my direct grandparents altogether.  I am.

I would like to hug my house.

Facing Pressure: Do You Comply or Rebel?

  

DOES PRESSURE EVER MAKE YOU WANT TO REBEL AND DO THE EXACT OPPOSITE THING OF WHAT IS BEING ASKED OF YOU?
Hehehehe.  How much time do you have today?
I can answer this question in one of three ways:
a) No.  I feel the request is valid and it is my 'job' (whether in a professional or social setting) to comply, even though it may cause stress.  A lot of situations in a former job had this kind of situation.  If one of the residents was getting worked up and threatening to hurt themselves or someone else it was my job to stop them (in the former case) or step in between them and their intended target (in the latter).  Pressure? Loads. Run away.  Not on my life.
b) Eh...no, probably not.  Sometimes a request or order is valid, but delivered in a demeaning manner.  That's when my hackles start to rise.  Ninety-nine times out of 100 I would probably comply an do what is being asked.
c) All bets are off.  If the person is on a power trip and enjoying lording it over other people (including me), then their request is difficult to fulfill and there is a definite desire on my part to push back.  At the same job described earlier, I was assisting a resident (let's call her "J") in a wheelchair with transferring to the toilet, she began to holler.  When I started in the home, she was getting around by use of a walker.  But she would rather have people do things for her. So, while I was transferring her, one of the home 'officials' came and wanted to know why she was screaming.  I said it was because the resident did not want to have to do any work, and that I was encouraging her to move so that she could retain her abilities as long as possible, and that I did not want to enable her into the wheelchair full-time.  This staffer screamed at me that I "HAD TO" enable her, because J could not put any weight on her feet!  I replied, "Uh, She just did."  My voice might have been a little louder than usual.

Keeping Cool in the Pressure Cooker

  
DO YOU THINK IT'S POSSIBLE TO CONTROL YOUR TEMPER WHEN FACING ENORMOUS PRESSURE?
First let's look at the words possible and probable?  Is something possible; could it happen?  Yes.  Is something probable, likely to happen?  That could be another story.  Some of it depends on the amount and quality of the perceived pressure.
Say someone with a full cart cuts in front of my at the grocery store.  Will I lose my temper?  Probably not.  Will I use a release valve like thinking, "Putz," under my breath? There's a good chance.  Will it work and stave off a display of temper on my part?  Yes.
However, let's change up the situation.  Say that person's cart hits and injures one of my children during their mad dash to the checkout line.  Will I lose my temper?  The chances of that will have just gone up dramatically.
So, here's a little peek into my thought process at that time:
Of course, the above example shows some sort of intent on the mad dasher's part (to get to the line first).  Maybe they didn't see my child and the injury was an accident.  (Because if the injury was intentional...buddy, it's on!)  Will the person apologize or take responsibility for their actions?  What if they are a single parent rushing home from work to make supper for their children before cleaning up, helping the kids with their homework, falling into bed exhausted, and getting up early the next day to do it all over again?  That would change things for me.
I suppose I should say at this point that when I lose my temper, it would most likely come out as a verbal tirade.  I am loathe to get physical, but will not hesitate to use that option in self-defense.
This is another reason I took up a more regular practice of prayer and meditation at the beginning of the year.  They both build up your inner strength and soothe life's pressures to make it less likely that the pressure to pass the critical point.

Resolutions Revisited

  

TONI ASKS, "HOW ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR RESOLUTIONS SO FAR?

Eh.

First of all, I did not make resolutions this year.  I went the "one word" route with the word "Order".  Is there more order in my life.  Marginally.  But some progress is better than no progress at all.

I am being more organized in keeping up with my schoolwork.  I'm caught up in everything (yay me!) and even ahead on some things.  I'm actually a little proud of that one.

My desk at which I study?  Um, not so much.  It is my goal to have it organized and/or cleared off by Monday, the 27th (of January).  Will someone remember to ask me on Monday if I've done it?

Enough about me.  Let's talk about you!

Did you make resolutions this year?  Goals?  Choose one word?  How is that working for you?

If you did resolutions and missed a day, don't worry about it.  If I were quicker on the draw, I'd send you a "get out of jail free" card.  Start again.  If you haven't missed a day - congratulations!  Whether you have missed a day or haven't, remember....YOU ROCK!

This is Me

   

TONI ASKS, "WHAT DON'T YOU LIKE ABOUT YOUR BODY?  WHAT STEPS CAN YOU TAKE TOWARD ACCEPTING, AND MAYBE LOVING, YOUR BODY?

I am overweight.  I dislike this more from a health perspective than an attractiveness point-of-view.  My father had a stroke at the age of 47 and passed away a week later - during my senior year of high school.  I was fine with blood pressure until I started having children.  Now I am on two medications.  I want to be here to see my children get married and raise families of their own.  Being at a healthier weight will not guarantee that, of course, but it could make the meantime more enjoyable.

For instance, my family recently went to Mammoth Cave in western Kentucky.  They wanted to do a mid-length tour that involved a LOT of steps.  I did not know if I would be able to take it, physically.  When you get to the cave entrance, basically the first thing you do is go down about 300-400 steps to get to the first chamber.  By the time we left that chamber, I was pulling myself up along the path by the handrails.  (Do you know how cold a metal handrail in a cave can get?)  At one point I was almost sure I was going to pass out or have some kind of attack.

You know what got me through?  (I mean other than mule stubbornness?)  The thought of my family, and the good time we were having.  We were all pretty winded by the time the tour was over.  I went straight to bed when we got home and spent most of the next day in bed.  My legs hurt for several days.

So, I give myself props that I completed that trek.

And I know that my worth as a person is not tied to my weight or physical condition.  (Yes, sometimes that is easier to remember than others.)  I like to think of a saying I saw on a poster or graphic once that went something along the lines of "I know I'm somebody because God doesn't make crap."  That's not to say I can't better organize the temple (body) I have been given.

3 Defenses Against Perfection-Mongers

  

DO YOU FEEL PRESSURE TO BE PERFECT?  HOW MUCH OF IT IS TIED TO  WHAT YOU SEE ONLINE?
The only time I really remember feeling pressured to be perfect is when I showed my father a Trigonometry test I had taken in the 10th grade.  I had been working very hard in the class and achieved a score of 97%.  I took the paper to my father (who had a PhD in Chemical Engineering) and he asked me, "What happened to the other 3 points?"  OUCH!
And I put a lot of pressure on myself to be 'perfect', because I want the result of whatever I am working on to be my best work for the other person.  But pressuring oneself to be perfect is not necessarily good either.
I know there are people out there who judge others by where they live, what kind of vehicle they drive, whether or not they shop off the rack, whether they are married or *gasp* divorced, too young or too old, Christian or Jew or Muslim or Buddhist.
In a sense, we all make judgments about people based on their looks, their skin color, whether or not they have a degree, where they work, if they work, what church they go to ... the list is endless.  A lot of it is the result of ignorance, Yes, it is going to happen online.  
Media in general puts a lot of pressure on people to appear (at least physically) perfect.  Recently there was a buzz about someone Photoshopping Jennifer Lawrence to make her arms look thinner.  Puh-leeze!  Everyone wants to see young, thin, well-to-do people who have 'perfect' lives.  But as anyone who has seen an episode of "The Real Housewives of (X)" can tell you:  a) those housewives are not representative of the vast majority of housewives anywhere in the world, and b) rich, young, physically attractive people do not necessarily have happily-ever-after lives.
So, how to we affirm ourselves as "just fine, just the way we are, thank you very much"?
Talk to the Hand Defense - literally put up your hand and give a "stop" sign.  You don't have time to listen to that kind of noise.  This is a great defense against those who would stop you from getting the right things done by insisting that everything you do be done 'just right'.
Walk Away Defense - This defense is for when the battle to be perfect is just not worth it.  Maybe you are in a toxic relationship, be it family, friend or love interest.  Some insists you do things just so, or always their way, in order that you be 'worthy'.  Walk away.  Create distance.
Channel Changer Defense - You've probably heard the maxim that 'the best defense is a good offense'.  Choose to take in information that is uplifting.  Choose to consume things that energize you.  Opt out of the mirage of perfection.  Get the right things done.
What are your thoughts on the concept of perfection?

Songs and Movies that Make You Feel Good

  

TONI SUGGESTS, "SHARE YOUR FEEL GOOD SONGS/MOVIES"

SONGS

Walking on Sunshine - Katrina and the Waves
Boondocks - Little Big Town
What do You Think About That - Montgomery Gentry
Pachelbel's Canon in D - Johann Pachelbel

MOVIES

Chariots of Fire
Dave
Doc Hollywood
Roman Holiday

These are by no means exhaustive lists...just a few to get our creative juices going.  What can you add to one or both lists?  Let's help each other out!

Pressure? Schmessure!

     DO YOU STILL FEEL PRESSURE TO CONFORM?  IF NO, AT WHICH AGE DID IT STOP? I think there is always some pressure to conform; society doesn't like having to open another box into which it must categorize things.  The less variation in people, the smaller variety of labels society's printer has to pit out, the happier 'society' is. It has, however, been ... a lot of years ... oh, ok, DECADES since I gave a rat's you-know-what about 'fitting in'.  Am I going to pull a Lady Godiva anytime soon?  Not likely.  (Collective sighs of relief all around.)   My maternal grandfather wanted to be a banker.  His parents wanted him to be a lawyer.  He became a lawyer.  He also became an alcoholic. My father was a chemical engineer.  He would have rather, at least in later life, have done something in investments.  He stayed a chemical engineer because: a) he was good at it; b) people expected him to stay the course, and c) it paid well.  My father came home early from work one day in early February 1979 because he did not feel well.  One week later, he died at the age of 47. Three times after my father passed away, my mother's brother came to visit us.  Each time my mother and uncle visited me at the place where I worked.  Each time, my uncle said, "You can do better." I really owe a debt of gratitude to the men in my family, although I can't say I appreciated the lesson at the time.  I've come out of class with a good idea of what makes me happy, the ability to express what makes me happy and why, and a thick enough skin to resist efforts to fit this square peg into a round hole.

January 2015 - Looking Back

    

TONI SAYS, "NEXT YEAR I WANT TO LOOK BACK AND BE PROUD THAT I _____."

LuAnn says, "Next year I want to look back and be proud that I improved my grades."

I first went to college in the summer of 1978, in between my junior and senior years of high school.  It was some sort of "get a taste" of college thing.  The next year in autumn, I entered the University of Utah as a Musical Theatre Major.  I was also painfully shy at the time, and could not bring myself to audition.  (Anyone see trouble on the horizon with that one?)

After a disastrous first year audition, I switched to a 'business' major, much to the relief of my mother.  My heart wasn't in it.  After a year and a half, I dropped out and schlepped about for a few years.  When I returned to college in 1988 or 1989, I majored in Finance at Westminster College of Salt Lake City, graduating in May of 1992 with a BS degree and magna cum laude honors.

Flash forward twenty or so years, and I returned to college at SCC (Somerset Community College) to brush up my skills in preparation for applying to graduate school in Writing and Appalachian Studies.  Several red flags were flapping in my face, but somehow I did not see them.

First, I registered for four (count 'em, FOUR) bi-term classes, where they cram 16 weeks of material into 8 weeks.  

Secondly, my financial aid was delayed since I was a "first-time" borrower and I did not receive funds until 4 weeks into the classes.  So, I tried to do half the speeded-up courses without textbooks.  (Don't do that at home.  It is only for professionals or the truly insane.)

So, I (remember the magna cum laude degree with a 3.7 GPA?),   I am on academic suspension right now.  Ouch!  I could have worked harder but I should have just waited in the first place, or taken one or two classes.  

Anyway, that's not going to happen again.  So I am looking forward to this time next year, when I will have a much better report to give.

Do Worms Feel Pressure?

      


DO YOU THINK YOU HANDLE PRESSURE WELL OR DO YOU USUALLY FALL APART? I usually bear up well in crisis situations.  Afterwards, I collapse.  It reminds me of when I used to ski in Utah.  I could ski from the time the lift opened in the morning and race down the mountain trying to get 'just one more run' in before dark and feel great.  But when we went to the car, sat down and took off the ski boots?  It was all over. When I worked for the city of Fort Worth, they had some sort of training conference where one of the workshops was on self defense, and presented by the police department.  One of the officers said something that sticks with me even today:  "You have to decide now what you are going to (or willing to) do in a crisis situation to defend yourself.  Because if you wait to decide until in the crisis, it will be exponentially more difficult to do." *+*+*+*+* 2014 Wormfest!

Kicking off Wormfest week will be the release of Stephen’s third book in the Chase Manhattan trilogy, Escalation.  2014 National Wormhole Week: Name one thing where science advances mankind, and one where technology will go too far and set us back. They can be the same thing or different.  Example: De-extinction or bringing back extinction species through backbreeding, genetic engineering, and cloning. With all the breakthrough discoveries mankind is on the cusp of, are we playing God?  Where do you see science moving us forward and where do you see it moving us back? Feel free to quote a movie. (Jurassic Park is a great example.) Join us below for Wormfest!  If the linky code doesn't show up, just click on the button and go sign up!

How to Make Anyone Happy

     

TONI ASKS, "SHARE YOUR FOOL-PROOF WAYS TO MAKE OTHERS HAPPY."

I don't think I have a 'fool-proof' way to make other people happy.  What makes one person happy may not work for another person.

I remember in junior high school, riding home one day with a friend of mine when she found out her grandfather had passed away.  She cried the rest of the way home.  I was a little at loose ends.  Only one of my grandparents was still alive.  The other grandfather had passed away before I was born.  I had only seen each of my grandmothers one time.  We talked for a while, and we played some kind of board game.  I tried to be sensitive to her feelings.  I think it helped her; she outright laughed at one point.  It did not 'make everything better', but maybe it provided some distraction.

I would try to find out what made a person happy and then help them get it.  Sometimes I can be direct and just ask.  Other times I have to ask around that question - like if I'm visiting someone in the hospital.  If it is someone I know well, I may try to direct the conversation towards a happier time, or something I know they enjoy.

If it is someone I do not know well, and there appeared to be a problem, I would ask them if there was any way I could help them.  That is better psychologically, I think, than asking, "What is wrong?"  I was delivering pizzas once (in Salt Lake City), and while returning to my car, a woman went quickly by, crying.  I asked her if she needed a ride somewhere.  She stopped and looked at me, like she was just then noticing my presence.  She continued on, walking slower.  I never found out why she was upset.  Did it help her to know that someone noticed and cared?  I hope so.

Can you share something you do that brings joy to the lives of others?  (I know that would make me happy!)

Have a GREAT weekend!

Stopping to Smell the Roses

  

TONI ASKS, "WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU STOPPED, SOAKED IN YOUR SURROUNDINGS AND LET YOURSELF SIMPLY BE?

I admit it.  Simply "being" is not one of my strong points.

Maybe sometimes in the mornings when I take out the dogs, I'll stretch my arms as high as they'll go, and wiggle my fingers to kind of say hello to the day  I breathe in the cool morning air, purposely step out of the shadows into the new day's sunlight and feel like a flower opening up for the day.

From Pillar to Post

  

WHO PUTS THE MOST PRESSURE ON YOU - YOURSELF OR OTHERS?
There is pressure that is imposed upon us by others.  Then there is PRESSURE that is imposed upon us by others.  Maybe a boss brings a last-minute project for an important deadline.  Maybe a child comes home and announces they need  six dozen cookies - for tomorrow.  (Of course, these days, you can't bring homemade goodies to public schools anymore.  But that's another post for another day.)  Then there is pressure like our soldiers face in battle.  Or the pressure put on a victim during the commission of a crime by another person.
Then there is the pressure we put on ourselves.  Then there is the PRESSURE we put on ourselves.  We may put off studying for a test or save an assignment until the last day ... when we had the time to do it in a less rushed manner.  Then there are occasions when we convince ourselves that a certain outcome is the only thing that will satisfy us and we are devastated when it doesn't come to pass.
Of course, I believe that it is not so much the source of pressure, but our reaction to it that makes the difference.  And no matter from where the pressure comes, there are usually things we can do to counteract it.  Unfortunately, there are some situations that put pressure on us over which we have no control.  When I faced such a situation at a former job, I knew I would most likely wind up injured at some point due to the nature of the job, and I made peace with that.  Then the fear, the stress and the pressure mediated itself and I was much more relaxed in the stressful situation itself.  
I'd love it if you could share a tip for how you handle pressure in your lives.  There's someone out there who needs to hear your tip today!

I'm Not Going Anywhere Sam

  
"COURAGE IS GRACE UNDER PRESSURE," IS A FAMOUS QUOTATION BY ERNEST HEMINGWAY.  TELL US ABOUT A PERSONAL MOMENT OF YOUR GRACE UNDER PRESSURE.
For four years, I worked with adults who have MR/DD (mental retardation and developmental disabilities).  When I was in training, I found out the house to which I would be assigned initially.  This particular house was home to 16 - 18 'high-functioning' males.  Rumor had it that this house was one of the rougher assignments on the facility.  As a 40-something female, I was more than a little nervous.  Looking back now it seems funny, that I made my peace with the situation by accepting the fact that at some point, I would get injured.
One day, I was assigned as staff for a certain male resident.  He was verbal with a limited vocabulary.  Although other residents were more prone to violence than this man, I would much rather NOT take a hit from him because he was a bull-dog.  He was incredibly strong and powerful ... and bull-headed at times.  He loved to play shoot baskets and was on the Special Olympics basketball team at one point for our region.
He was also mad for magazines, so much so that he would go into other residents' rooms and other houses to take things that belonged to other people.
On the day in question, Sam (not his real name, of course) climbed into a golf cart that a medical staff member had left parked outside the house in full view of everyone there.  If he'd have been able to get the thing started, wow, I shudder even now to think of it.  I hear when our supervisor du jour was notified of the situation, she looked out of the window, said something like "This isn't my house," and walked on.  Thanks a lot.
Sam headed to the next house up from ours.  I called the staff on my cell phone and alerted them that we were headed that way.  Normally, the doors were unlocked at all times, but in some cases (like the situation at hand) it was safer to secure the doors temporarily.  When Sam could not get into that house, we went on a walking tour of the facility.  (I was not allowed to make physical contact with him.).
As we passed one classroom, where residents learned daily living social skills, he saw stacks of magazines in the window, and was determined to get in to them.  I blocked the door, holding it shut for the safety of the staff and residents in class at the time.  Sam did not like that.  He threw over a garbage can.  I hollered to the classroom staff to call our house to send some help.
Then he raised his right hand and slapped me hard across the left side of the face, knocking my glasses to the ground.  I bent down to pick them up (keeping my eyes on him), picked up my glasses, put them in my pocket and said in as calm a voice as I could muster, "I'm not going anywhere, Sam."
Just then, a visually-impaired resident exited a different classroom.  Sam went to kick him, and I stepped in between the two of them.  Sam went into the 2nd classroom, a physical therapy/exercise room.  Seeing who it was, the staff immediately retreated behind desks (yeah, thanks for that one too).  Sam picked up someones Walkman, threw it at the window and the Walkman exploded into dozens of pieces.
At that point, a male staffperson arrived from our house, entered the room and said, "What's up, Sam?"  It was like someone had flipped a switch, and Sam was all smiles as he walked home willingly with the other staff as I followed closely behind.