My Favorite Moment This Summer

Actually, my favorite moment this summer has a history that stretches back to Mother's Day 2012.  My daughter and I are church-goers; my husband and boys are not.  They will come with us to the social gatherings, like chili cook-offs and Independence Day cook-offs, but not to Sunday services.  Well, this Mother's Day I wanted to ask that they all come with my daughter and me.  But I was afraid.  Then I got on myself for being afraid ... I mean, as "the Mom", I have rights, too, yes?

So I talked it over with my husband.  Being a non-attending Christian, he did not want me to push my denomination's views on the boys (who are 14 and 15) if they chose not to believe in the same way.  (I wouldn't want that either, actually, as it is each person's choice to believe or not.)  So, we came upon "the plan".  The boys would come with their sister and me for four weeks...then we would revisit the situation.

Then, of course, the problems came.  Most to all of our clothing is of the casual kind.  I mean, my one dress and one skirt (both new this 2nd quarter of the year), are all the "Sunday-go-to-meetin'" clothes I have.  DH did not want the kids going to church in sweats or jeans.  We received some "gently used" gifts from a couple at church, but the 14 yr old is quite hefty (think linebacker or tackle) and could not fit into any of them.  Then, DH thought if he was 'requiring' the boys to go that he should probably go too.  But he did not have "church clothes" either.  He bought himself a pair of pants, that wound up fitting our boy better than they fit him.

Yes, I've taken the long way around to get to the heart of my story.  Lo and behold, one Sunday I found myself driving to church with all 3 of my children.  Now, mostly when I think of myself and motherhood, I tend to focus on my deficiencies, real or perceived.  But not that Sunday.  I felt complete.  I felt "right".  And that felt GREAT!

Blog Dare 7 - Daily Needs

There are several things I "need" every day:

Coffee - My sleep is rather irregular, so I need that little extra jolt of caffeine to get my motor running.

Cigarettes - I did not start smoking until about 5 years ago. I was working at a residential/teaching facility for adults with MR/DD (mental retardation and developmental disabilities). Yes, dealing with the residents could sometimes be stressful. I went to the hospital at least once every 6 months or so, and was injured twice in 2010, resulting in 15 months total of Workers' Compensation time off work. But the real issue was the administration, obscenely ridiculous working demands and conditions, and double standards. It was either start smoking or put my fist through a wall. And this comes from a woman who dislikes violence. I am partially using e-cigarettes now, which come flavored and have nicotine but not tar. My hope for this year is to stop smoking altogether...for my health.

Cymbalta - This is my anti-depressant medication. I have had depression since my teens (at least) and I am now 50. I have been on (at different times) Zoloft and Effexor. I don't like having to take medication for something that I've been told just needs an attitude adjustment (yeah, that's what I think too), but without it I'm bitchy and just want to lie in bed all day with the covers over my head. Not good for a homeschooling mother. At first, I was worried about what people at my work (then) would think, but then I found out that most of the staff was on anti-depression or -anxiety meds anyway. Somewhere along the line, I stopped being ashamed of it. Everybody's got some kind of problem ... and some kinds of strengths.

And it's coincidence that they all begin with the letter "C".

Blog Dare 6 - My Happy Place

Ok, so actually the prompt was: "My "special" place. {Where do you go for quiet/alone or regrouping time}". But the last time I heard "special place" was in reference to a porn movie and I really didn't want to attract an audience who might make that mistake about my blog.

So, my happy place, my refuge is now our front porch. It's got more character than the back porch/patio, which has, on occasion served as a carport. And it does have the problem of putting me on display for the drivers-by. Especially at night. And it looks like a tornado picked up a sandstorm, and a major metropolitan newspaper printer, ripped it to shreds and dumped it all on my front porch.

When DS1 (dear son), age 15, approaches me with the 15th rendition of "guess what I just read in a fan faction", or when DD (dear daughter), age 8, adds that last "hmph" of tween indignation when things don't go head out to the front porch.

Don't give me too much grief, please, about the cigarettes. I know it's unhealthy. I could go into a whole story about how and why I started, but ... that's a post for another day. And semi-often, I take the e-cig that DH (dear husband) got for me, that has nicotine, but no tar, and comes in different strengths.

You can see my tendency to veer off-topic, and I've always said of myself, I'll never say in 10 words what I can say in 100.

I'm hoping to get some plants, maybe a small herb garden out there in spring/summer, maybe one of those wicker chair with ridiculously huge cushions and a wicker and/or glass table to put my books, papers, drinks, etc, etc, etc on. Of course, there is a chance that we could be looking at buying a house later in the year, so then I'll make sure to stake out a comfort zone from the get go!

So where do you go for you?

Blog Dare First Five Days

Yeah, I know, I'm playing catch-up. Whatever.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

My social media goals for 2012.

My numbers are still relatively small, making a bold statement such as "double the number of followers I have on GFC and FB" is not really that huge of an achievevement. Doubling the number would put me in the 250 range.

I would like to engage in hosting and writing more guest posts. Maybe guest-writing a post one month, then having a guest post on my blog the next, and so on.

Monday, January 2, 2012

A look back at 2011.

I blogged and wrote more in 2011 than I have before, but was still not very disciplined in my practice. I started NaNoWriMo, but did not finish...but that's better than in years past.

My mother passed away in late March at the age of 87. We bought a 2nd vehicle, because it was getting harder and harder to stuff two teenage boys and their tween sister into the back seat of a 2-door Ford Escort. My oldest child turned 15. I turned 50. And now that I got my hair cut from waist-length to shoulder-length, my gray hairs really show through. About the only other thing of note was having an operation on my left knee after getting kicked in the knee at work in 2010.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Bucket List Update

I don't think I've accomplished anything on my list yet, so I'll just recap a few of my favorites, in no particular order:

1. Visit Scotland.

2. Act in a Shakespeare play.

3. Drive a Jaguar XJ-S (owning one would be nice, but I could dine out on driving a friend's Jag one time. )

4. Own a home for my family.

5. Read every major religious text.

Wednesday, January4, 2012

What I should have bought this holiday season.

A new laptop would have been nice. The keyboard on this one is possessed. I can't count the pages of material I've lost because the cursor jumps and all of a sudden 5 lines are gone. This post has taken me at least an hour, two drafts saved (I remember only 1) and an accidental posting of partially-finished writing. Ugh.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Something lost...

I'd like to say my sanity...but that is hardly news. Unfortunately, I have the dubious talent of being able to have things disappear 5 seconds after I put them down. But it gives me an idea for a book..."14,000 Things I Have Lost".

Blog Dare - A Favorite Holiday Recipe

The prompt for today is "a favorite holiday recipe". Every year growing up, we made a variety of cookie recipes, usually the same ones every year, although the decorated sugar cookies made when we were young children were eventually phased out. We made Russian tea cookies, "vanilla" and chocolate sour cream cookies, and the recipe I'm going to share here today, "Lebkuchen".

Lebkuchen have to be made several days to weeks ahead and mellowed, because about 5 minutes out of the oven and those little suckers will break teeth! This is not the recipe my mother used, which was in a Betty Crocker cookbook she received for her wedding to my father in 1957, but it comes close. It is from AllRecipes.com

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup honey
• 1/2 cup molasses
• 3/4 cup packed brown sugar
• 1 egg
• 1 tablespoon lemon juice
• 1 teaspoon lemon zest
• 2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon ground cloves
• 1 teaspoon ground allspice
• 1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 1/3 cup diced candied citron
• 1/3 cup chopped hazelnuts
• 1 cup white sugar
• 1/2 cup water
• 1/4 cup confectioners' sugar

Directions

1. In a medium saucepan, stir together the honey and molasses. Bring the mixture to a boil, remove from heat and stir in the brown sugar, egg, lemon juice and lemon zest. In a large bowl, stir together the flour, baking soda, cinnamon, cloves, allspice and nutmeg. Add the molasses mixture to the dry ingredients and mix well. Stir in the citron and hazelnuts. Cover dough and chill overnight.
2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease cookie sheets. Using a small amount of dough at a time, roll out on a lightly floured surface to 1/4 inch thickness. Cut into small rectangles and place them 1 inch apart onto the prepared cookie sheet.
3. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes in the preheated oven, until no imprint remains when touched lightly. Brush the icing over the cookies while they are still hot and quickly remove them to wire cooling racks. Store in airtight container with a cup of orange or apple for a few days to mellow.
4. To make the icing: Combine the sugar and water in a small saucepan. Heat to between 234 and 240 degrees F (112 to 116 degrees C), or until a small amount of syrup dropped into cold water forms a soft ball that flattens when removed from the water and placed on a flat surface. Remove from heat and stir in the confectioners' sugar. If icing becomes sugary while brushing cookies, re-heat slightly- adding a little water until crystals dissolve.

While you are waiting for the cookies to mellow, you can use the link at the top of the page to find more great recipes from other members of the Blog Dare group at Bloggy Moms!

The Last Place We Stayed

On December 3rd (or 4th), my family were on the way back to Kentucky from visiting MIL in Haslet, TX. We had spent Thanksgiving and DS1's 14th birthday there. We were in the middle of our 900 mile trip and even though FIL (here in Kentucky) had lent us his passenger van, we needed to stop for the night rather than try to push on through.

Our buddy Tom left the light on for us at the Motel 6 in Jackson, TN. It's really a great deal for a family. The price was reasonable; if I remember correctly, we paid under $50 for all 5 of us. And, they did not charge extra for Sneakers, our dog. The staff was professional, yet 'down home'...just like us.

Other than that, there's not really a lot to say...but I would stay there again, and I would recommend it to friends and family.

Valentine's Day - Bringin' the Festive Back

Since 1979, Valentine's Day has been a double-edged sword for me.

On February 15th of that year, my father passed away due to a stroke and heart attack. He was 47 years old at the time. I was a senior in high school. Coincidentally, I was in the play "Lazarus Laughed" at the time, the theme of which was "there is no death". I was kind of numb until we went to sit down for his memorial service, when I broke down. The directors asked if we wanted to have the curtains drawn and I did not.

Anyway, from the evening before (February 14, 1979), it was obvious that my father did not have long to live. So...Valentine's Day has that little tinge for me.

But now that I have children of my own, I try to be a little more cheerful for the day. My daughter, who just turned 8, especially loves holidays...the decorating, making crafts, celebrating, etc.

And I recently joined swap-bot.com, and am doing a couple of Valentine card/craft swaps with folks, which also brings a little more sense of the festive back.

DH helps, too. He got me a medium-sized fuzzy ladybug (think pillow size). He's a true country boy, and this effort of his is SO appreciated. The only trouble was is that our daughter assumed it was for her, has named her "Spots" and uses Spots for a pillow at night. *lol*

So, while 32 years has passed, and I still miss my father, I know he is in a better place, and I know he knows his grandchildren. And that is all good.

OK..What Impressed Me Was...

OK, what really impressed me about Jacqueline was the amount of love she shows to other blogger's giveaways. So, it was beholdin' upon me to show some love back and pimp her Very First Blog Candy Giveaway!

So, go see her blog, pick up a lot of great ideas, and maybe some candy that won't hurt your teeth! *lol* And while you are there, check out some of her cute designs!

*+*+*+*+*


The Blog Dare for today was giving props to one's best friend. Well, I don't really have a "best" right now, although I do have a number of good friends, but I wanted to show that I had actually written today, because it's the longest streak of blog writing that I've had in some time! Yay me!!!

What I Do and Do Not Miss About High School

This one is kind of tough for me. Sometimes I can hardly remember last week, or yesterday, and they want me to remember high school? Yikes!

I miss some of the people (both students and teachers). I think it's kind of strange that some of my classmates have grandchildren that are the ages of my children (yep, I was an older first-time mom). I miss the feeling that I had more days ahead of me than I do behind. In my senior year, I was on the school paper staff...that was fun.

I don't miss being overweight and painfully introverted.

However, something happened in high school that probably overshadowed anything else "bad" that may have happened. About four months before graduation, my father came home sick from work one day. That was unusual because he was so type "A". A week later he passed away (stroke/heart attack) at the age of 47. I was in a play called "Lazarus Laughed" by Tennessee Williams (I think?) at the time, so the whole theme was like, 'there is no death'. Even in our church community at the time, social invitations kind of dried up after that...like people were afraid death was catching or something.

Yup, I could've done without most of that.

I'm not usually this maudlin, so I'm going to close out this post and go think about my daughter's 8th birthday on 2/2.

Hey, Younger Me!

February 1, 2011

Dear Younger Me,

I'm you from...oh, a couple years in the future. Thought I'd pass along a little information and some tips I've picked up over the years. I just hope it doesn't screw up the time line, KWIM? *lol*

Have a good relationship with God. This is probably the single most important and far-reaching thing you can do to have a good life. The sweetest peace you will ever know will come to you after accepting God's will the morning you think you are having a miscarriage. BTW, the child resulting from that pregnancy will be 8 years old tomorrow. (It's really a coincidence that her initials are TAO.)

It's ok to step outside your comfort zone every once in a while. It will not kill you. I am living proof of that. I'm not saying it won't be scary and uncomfortable but the rewards are great. Being the only non-line officer to compete in the MUJD contest in 1980 and winning, finally auditioning for a play and getting a role, going to the lawyer and finding out that MIL really did not have standing to try and get custody of the boys...you'll be walking on AIR that day.

Appreciate your Mom and Dad more. They won't be with you forever.

You are a valuable, talented person. It is possible to believe in yourself when others don't, and to show them you are right. To quote Shakespeare, whom I know we both love, "To thine own self be true, and then it follows as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." It's ok not to follow the herd.

Love yourself, your family and your friends.

Oh, and brush your teeth. And floss,

Love,
Me

I Guess I Chose "Truth"

Sorry, just my little attempt at being punny. I joined Bloggy Moms' Blog Dare group around the middle of the month and posted about a week ago. They have a prompt for each day of the month and all I managed was one entry. But I'm counting this round as a win because it ended one of the longer dry blog spells for me of recent memory.

I find the daily prompts extremely valuable for a couple of reasons. Everybody has dry spells. And with my recent surgery, etc, sometimes my motivation lags more than usual. I am also looking forward to February and more consistent blogging.

As for my knee, there is more soreness than pain now, and rather limited range of motion. I can neither completely straighten nor bend my knee very far. But I start pt tomorrow, 3x per week for 4 weeks.

Blog Dare - How I Use Social Media

So the bloggy dare for today, January 22, 2011, is "How do you use social media?"

I use social media mostly for social reasons. I've done some outreach to other mom bloggers, but have not really made a "business" use of it...yet. Maybe if I reversed the percentages of time I spend playing FarmVille et al and the time I spend blogging and developing business, that would change. *lol*

My main reason for looking to change blogging to more of a business is that in the past year, I have been on medical leave from my job at a residential/teaching facility for adults with MR/DD. The first time was 1/24/10 to June 2010 for an elbow/shoulder injury (that is still hurting) and the 2nd time was/is from 9/28/2010 to the present for a knee injury. In fact, I just had surgery on my knee on Monday. I still don't know what the outcome will be. I doubt I will be able to return to similar work. Right now, just standing up for more than 15 minutes is a challenge. (Oh yes, I have consulted an attorney, who tells me that while related medical bills can be covered for as long as the condition exists, there is little hope of any other monetary outcome. I'd like to think I'm not greedy, but my family has lost our health insurance due to the length of time I've been on medical leave.

Any tips, etc, would be welcome. Thanks for visiting and reading! "O)