Since 1979, Valentine's Day has been a double-edged sword for me.
On February 15th of that year, my father passed away due to a stroke and heart attack. He was 47 years old at the time. I was a senior in high school. Coincidentally, I was in the play "Lazarus Laughed" at the time, the theme of which was "there is no death". I was kind of numb until we went to sit down for his memorial service, when I broke down. The directors asked if we wanted to have the curtains drawn and I did not.
Anyway, from the evening before (February 14, 1979), it was obvious that my father did not have long to live. So...Valentine's Day has that little tinge for me.
But now that I have children of my own, I try to be a little more cheerful for the day. My daughter, who just turned 8, especially loves holidays...the decorating, making crafts, celebrating, etc.
And I recently joined swap-bot.com, and am doing a couple of Valentine card/craft swaps with folks, which also brings a little more sense of the festive back.
DH helps, too. He got me a medium-sized fuzzy ladybug (think pillow size). He's a true country boy, and this effort of his is SO appreciated. The only trouble was is that our daughter assumed it was for her, has named her "Spots" and uses Spots for a pillow at night. *lol*
So, while 32 years has passed, and I still miss my father, I know he is in a better place, and I know he knows his grandchildren. And that is all good.
Thank you for an open and honest and touching post...it's really difficult when a "special" day, like Valentine's Day or Christmas, is, as you said, tinged with sadness. It's part of life, I guess, but it takes a lot of courage to forge ahead and be happy. Perhaps we can remember the person who passed and "celebrate" their life as we celebrate that special holiday.
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