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So, the question is:
What would you do if you were not afraid?
And I answer:
Sometimes I want it both ways. It's either: a) too hard and I'm not capable; or b) too easy, and everyone will find out I'm a fake.
If I were not so afraid, I would act on stage for a living.
The family into which I was born apparently does not think very much of me. My father was a chemical engineer, working for a defense contractor. Very smart. Both my brother and I had artistic leanings, him in music (he's FABULOUS, by the way) and myself in live theatre. But I was afraid to put myself center stage, as it were, and my parents were all too happy to steer me towards a more academic life.
When I left the International Department at a regional US bank, I went back to college to get a degree, because without one there was no room for advancement. Wouldn't you know, while immersed in the finance program (BS-magna cum laude (--that's for my mother)), I saw a notice for auditions for "The Importance of Being Earnest" by Oscar Wilde. My mind immediately began telling me all the 'why nots', but I went anyway.
And I got a part. And I participated in about 5 plays a year for the next 6 years...or is it 6 plays a year for the next 5 years. I get a little muddled. But the point is, even though it took 10 years, I came back from a professor saying I should find something else to do, that I would never have a future in acting, to being paid to perform!
Then came marriage and children. The oldest one turns 18 this year. I have not done a play since before he was born. Then we lived in Salt Lake City, which is vastly more urban now than when we lived there (last in 1997.) We live in rural Kentucky ... where you know most of the other 5 people in the county. You're right; it's not quite THAT deserted, but close. The closest live theatre is about 30 miles away. Not a big deal. But they only have one or two performances. That's a lot of physical and emotional work to put on a play for so few performances, with not so many people around to see it.
So, I'm allowing this to stop me right now. Got any suggestions for me?