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So, the question is:
What would you do if you were not afraid?
And I answer:
Sometimes I want it both ways. It's either: a) too hard and I'm not capable; or b) too easy, and everyone will find out I'm a fake.
If I were not so afraid, I would act on stage for a living.
The family into which I was born apparently does not think very much of me. My father was a chemical engineer, working for a defense contractor. Very smart. Both my brother and I had artistic leanings, him in music (he's FABULOUS, by the way) and myself in live theatre. But I was afraid to put myself center stage, as it were, and my parents were all too happy to steer me towards a more academic life.
When I left the International Department at a regional US bank, I went back to college to get a degree, because without one there was no room for advancement. Wouldn't you know, while immersed in the finance program (BS-magna cum laude (--that's for my mother)), I saw a notice for auditions for "The Importance of Being Earnest" by Oscar Wilde. My mind immediately began telling me all the 'why nots', but I went anyway.
And I got a part. And I participated in about 5 plays a year for the next 6 years...or is it 6 plays a year for the next 5 years. I get a little muddled. But the point is, even though it took 10 years, I came back from a professor saying I should find something else to do, that I would never have a future in acting, to being paid to perform!
Then came marriage and children. The oldest one turns 18 this year. I have not done a play since before he was born. Then we lived in Salt Lake City, which is vastly more urban now than when we lived there (last in 1997.) We live in rural Kentucky ... where you know most of the other 5 people in the county. You're right; it's not quite THAT deserted, but close. The closest live theatre is about 30 miles away. Not a big deal. But they only have one or two performances. That's a lot of physical and emotional work to put on a play for so few performances, with not so many people around to see it.
So, I'm allowing this to stop me right now. Got any suggestions for me?
I love the way you've put your insecurities and fears across. It's tough to swim against the norm and was heartening to read about how you got the part in the play and subsequently lived your dream, at least, for a while. I wish you get the opportunity to pick up the threads of your dream from where you left it.
ReplyDeleteThank you Uma! I hope so too! :O)
DeleteIt is nice to read how coped up with your insecure nature and with will power started acting, which was your first love.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Usha. Like I commented, I sat down with the intention of writing something completely different and that just came out. :O)
DeleteLuAnn, Lovely to learn about you. You have expressed so candidly.
ReplyDeleteYou are a brave lady! May you overcome all your fears & live your passions.
If you love acting so much, I feel you should go for it. The audience may be less, but you will get to do something you love...
My suggestion- Do request someone to shoot/record a video of your role/play. You can share it on Social Media/Networking sites. That's how great artists like Justin Bieber etc have been discovered :)
Best wishes!
Thanks for stopping by & sharing such nice words on my Blog :)
So good to see you on the porch, Anita, and thanks for the encouragement!
DeleteThat's great you finally took the plunge and enjoyed it. You should contact that theater. Might be the beginning of a new adventure for you.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouragement Alex! Who knows? I might soon be coming to a stage near...anybody! :O)
DeleteLoved how you faced them by writing it.
ReplyDeleteWishign you the best :)
Thanks Ruchira, my best to you too!
DeleteNice to know how you faced it..Writing helps a lot na?
ReplyDeleteFearless...
It certainly does, Nabanita. When I get one of those memes where a question is "why do you blog", I always answer because it's cheaper than therapy! :O)
ReplyDeleteAm so glad you took the chance to and performed on stage. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting. I really appreciate your kind words. :O)
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